Why I decided to start blogging was actually a very personal decision. It started when I first saw the #whyistayed campaign on Twitter. The campaign began last year with the Ray Rice scandal and his then fiance. People were up in arms as to why she decided to stay. Then one lady started the hash tag and it trended all over Twitter. I literally read every woman’s hash tag, as I could relate. At that moment I felt more understood than ever before. I was so impressed and proud of these women having the courage to make that public. At the time, I was and am still going through the aftermath of leaving an abusive relationship. So it really resonated with me. I could either become a victim or a survivor.
I was stuck in my victim mode. Throwing myself a pity party about losing everything and then it hit me in the middle of a crying spell. I have a story to share. It would be healing for me and also could potentially help others. Help them to understand that they’re at least not alone. Truth be told, going through Domestic Violence is very alienating. You spend half your time lying to to others about what’s going on and the other half trying to stay alive. You feel like it’s you against the world. When, you do leave people don’t tell you that you continue to feel the same way. It’s not other peoples fault, but if they just don’t understand. You very well maybe still dealing with abuse, but just in other forms. It’s hard to find anyone who understands. I have been in therapy for years and I still didn’t feel like I had an outlet. Until, I saw that campaign begin about abuse.
Once, I saw that I knew it was time for my story to be shared. I knew I wanted to help others. Share resources on how to get out and stay out. I started a Twitter, one for other domestic violence survivors and then began to explore other avenues. I remember once when I was in a Group Therapy session the therapist told me that I would end up dead. Either, because of my ex or because I was so enthralled in my ptsd and pain that I may kill myself. Her name was Roseanne, I’ll never forget her. She pulled me aside and told me that I need to find a way to help others and to begin to see myself as a survivor and not a victim. Roxanne, recommended starting a blog. She said to first start with a private blog and then with time and healing to make it a public one and I did just that.
I started a blog originally on a Domestic Violence forum type website. It was for other survivors to share experiences and give support. It was amazing. After, being on that for some time I decided it was time to make my blog public. This is my first week and I’m excited to just see views. I know a lot of people maybe too scared to make public comments and I totally understand that. It takes baby steps. That’s how I did it. I know my blogs might not attract the most views and comments or have the best grammar. But I’m ok with that. If i could help just one person by giving them hope. That’s my goal. If I could let one woman know that they can leave. I would be thrilled.
I would love to become a voice for Domestic Violence in my local community and everywhere else! Even better, I would love to become an advocate. My overall goal is start a Non-Profit one day to help other women or men bounce back from leaving. However, that will take time and baby steps. I’m slowly going to see where blogging may lead me. I’m just grateful to have a platform to discuss something as serious as Domestic Violence. I want to thank the strong ladies on twitter and good ole Roxanne for that!
Ladies or Gentleman, please share what made happened to make you transform yourself, from victim to survivor. I look forward to hearing your experiences.