Styrofoam bank coming to parks along with $50 fine

“It’s all about bringing the bank and possibly a fine, to you”

The $50 fine would be leveed to new customers and used as a payback to County Commissioners for giving us this opportunity.

The banking industry is expanding into the nation’s parks where they hope to develop a new customer base. “These new, portable banks will be made entirely of Styrofoam thus cutting costs and bringing additional savings to customers” said Wilbert Rudolfo, customer service manager for TDI. “To celebrate this new innovation, we’re raising our rates for new accounts. Instead of giving them 0.03% on an account we’ll happily bump that up to 0.12% which would be triple or maybe quadruple the interest!

It’s all about customer service. Styrofoam construction gives us the capability to move around the park to address the needs of our clients. It will be a totally mobile experience. For the first time in history, the bank will come to you where you play or where you swim. It’s that portable!

For example, we’ll start the week at the basketball courts for those who need money for ice cream and the weekend will see us, well, wherever the winds blows.

When we first proposed Styrofoam buildings to the S.E.C. they told us “No way!” but when we explained safety was not an issue because if we saw a bank robber approaching the building, we could just pick it up and walk away. They were satisfied with that explanation.

What they weren’t satisfied with was the spell-check option the Miami Herald writer forgot to turn off.”