The U.N. Security Council, responsible for world security and quashing parking tickets in Manhattan, issued a statement condemning North Korea’s latest missile launch.

North Korean leader for “All Eternity and Beyond’ Kim Jong Un chose the eve of the Chinese New Year for the launch hoping to hide it amid the Chinese fireworks displays. “We thought that last bottle rocket was a little large” said Chinese Minister of Defense, Ginger and Garlic, Dac ‘Bok’ Choy. The rocket, powered by the explosive force of kimchi stored underground for at least 3 years, reached ‘terminal velocity’ in a matter of just a few hours said North Korean Air Force Assistant Commander Hwang ‘Jimmy’ Karaoke in a statement released by the Ministry of Missiles and Poverty.

The United States, backed by its allies Japan and South Korea agreed that any launch of a purported missile should be directed at the next Republican debate wherever that may be. “We’re cool with that” said the president’s Press Secretary adding, “We’re sure it won’t be a direct hit, but could further reduce the candidate field significantly.”

Kim Jong Un, arriving at a toy ‘knock-off’ factory for one of his daily inspection visits, commented on the launch. “We have proven our leadership not only in world class toy making but rocketry and science. Soon we’ll be able to install lights in the cities and maybe even have a couple of paved roads.”

"They have to be under a quarter for us to make any money" Kim Jong Un guides factory worker

“They have to be under a quarter for us to make any money” Kim Jong Un guides factory worker