North Korea’s Kim Jong Un proclaimed their successful test of an H-Bomb, but there’s a hiccup.
The Guinness Book of Records reported the ‘H-Bomb’ blast on January 6th in North Korea was in actuality the largest communal fart in the world. ‘Held in’ since 1986 by Korean People’s Army Unit 313 in Pyongyang, the elite unit had been competing in a contest with other military troops.
The ‘blow’ registered on seismographs across the far-east. “We were waiting for a really strong southerly breeze” said General Pak Cho Hoy, “That’ll show those nosy South Koreans! By the way, they had been practicing ‘holding it in’ for a long time and after the entire unit comes back from medical leave, we’ll give them a cup of rice and a nice medal.”
North Korea claims to have the capability of sending a missile as far as the west coast of the United States.
“Our rockets which could launch strikes against any imperial power are powered by the finest, strongest rubber bands we could manufacture” said Cho Hoy Pak, leading scientist at the Glorious Leader Atomic Institute and Kimchi Farm, “It takes less than a day for 3,000 citizens to pull and wind the mechanism. The infrequent accidents related to the windings spawned a new medical procedure for extracting rubber from various parts of the anatomy. Victims are then awarded a nice medal and a cup of rice during recuperation.”
Fun facts about north Korea:
Fragrant Invincible leader of all he Surveys for Life Kim Young Un is reputed to have the smallest penis in the far-east based on his proclivity for ‘Trumpian’ bombast.
According to the DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) press office, Kim Jong Un has ‘visited and inspected’ every site in that country worth visiting and inspecting.
The world’s largest game of ‘musical chairs’ is played every New Year’s Day in The People’s Stadium in Pyongyang with hundreds of thousands watching as generals compete to see who sits next to the ‘Deliriously Joyful First Secretary and Marshall for Life of the Supreme Committee for the Exaltation of the Living God who’s benevolence Grants Serenity on All His People’, Kim Jong Un.
He is also in the Guinness Book of Records as having the longest title of any dictator in history.