In a move that has surprised even John Boehner, Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican Party, says in the run-up to the general election in 2016, any Republican can denounce every Presidential proposal “whatever it will be. This is a pre-emptive move” said Priebus. “We’re just following history here and we don’t want to break a proud tradition of just saying ‘No’. We believe that everyone who wants to take their country back will be opposed to anything short of scandal that comes out of the Oval office. Of course if Obama manages to ‘stay clean’ we’ll invent something, but that information is off the record.”
In other news, Fox, who is hosting the first Presidential contender’s debate, will alter the way it will choose its ten candidates.
“The threshold for inclusion should be how far each will go to stretch the truth to suit their agenda. We’ll send potential candidates a questionnaire and see what types of hair-brained schemes are out there. The wilder they get, the closer they’ll be positioned to Trump on stage. He’s the benchmark and he’s looming over the debate like a Thanksgiving Day parade float, with as much hot air.”
When Fox News announced the parameters for its August 6th Republican primary debate, candidates not polling in the top 10 have been asked for their opinions on the format and whether it’s fair. “Unfortunately, we can’t air their answers” said a spokesperson for the station, “This is a family network.”
They announced, however, in a press release that on August 6th, hours before the debate kicks off, Fox will host what the network is calling a ‘faux forum’ in which candidates outside the top 10 polling will be allowed to participate. The biggest criteria are that any participating candidates must be polling at one percent or higher. Based on the current voter turnout, that would mean a ‘qualified’ candidate must have at least 237 votes nationally and the Koch brothers behind them.