A lot goes into shaping how each partner handles money and deals with issues related to it. In order to strengthen your marriage, it’s important for you to understand the dynamics of money. This would help any newlywed couple like you to avoid committing financial blunders and hence, the friction.
Your partner’s financial past
You can easily make out how your partner responds to money related issues. To a large extent such reactions are shaped by experiences he or she has had in the past. Though you could find it to be interesting to keep some facts hidden under the carpet, yet it shouldn’t be the same with money. This is because if you are aware of your partner’s financial history, then it would become easier for you to work out your household budget in tandem with him or her and definitely with greater understanding.
For instance, if you’ve been bred under tight budget all throughout your childhood till you got married, then your parents must have confessed to you for not being able to pay for those restaurant bills every weekend. As a result, it’d be natural for you to crave outside food much more than the kids hailing from wealthier family. So, to assert yourself as someone who’s financially well off, you might want to eat out on a regular basis. This could sow the seeds of future spousal conflicts and ultimately, divorce.
Remember trivial money conflicts wouldn’t cause serious repercussions. But, lack of any sort of tussle is actually a cause for concern since such behaviors breed financial infidelity. And it is extremely bad to witness so.
One of the best ways to avert serious monetary confrontation is to tackle the situation head on. That said, you must refrain from using harsh words that can trigger violent reaction from your better half and instead, use phrases that will show you as being considerate and kind. Therefore, you could begin your discussions about money by asking questions like “How was your childhood like in terms of financial freedom” and “How that influences your day-to-day decisions now?”
Another smarter way to handle sticky financial matters is to find out from your spouse about his or her money management issues one at a time. This will help your spouse to open up and enable him or her to confide in you his or her worst financial nightmares. And the outcome of you being so considerate with your spouse is that you’ll get to strengthen your financial status further and in a more holistic manner.
Suffering from financial baggage
Its absolutely fine for you to enjoy being mysterious or for that matter prefer to have a healthy dose of mystery in your relationship, but doing the same when your financial life is at stake, is never advisable. You can’t always expect people around you to come clean about their financial situations. Rather, no one can really tell you the best time to confess about your 10,000 credit card debt.
Just like any other best kept secret, all the skeletons in your closet will come out sooner rather than later. In other words, you run the risk of losing your spouse’s trust and confidence over you, as far as money is concerned, because your past, hidden financial baggage will be ripped open the moment both of you jointly apply for a home loan or a car loan or even try to work out for some low-interest credit.
Situations like these create a vacuum in between spousal relations and it may come as a huge shock for your partner. Due to sheer skepticism, your spouse could even think, “If my spouse could be so secretive about money, then what exactly he/she is up to that I may not know”.
So, it is best to fight over financial issues as compared to keeping money secrets from each other. As already told, its healthy to engage in some arguments since this could help you to resolve your financial crisis rather than to lose your better half over financial infidelity. You could consider these words as tips to manage your money or just simple money talk, but the same have proved useful to many warring couples, nevertheless.
Apart from that, a lot of newlyweds love to discuss about everything, except money. Instead, they avoid engaging in money talks with their spouse. Basically, you could discuss as diverse topics as credit scores, savings, bills, retirement, debt, etc related to money. Sadly, most of the people like you don’t. So, to make it interesting, you can prioritize your financial issues as well as goals and discuss about them one at a time. This way you’ll be able to jazz up your talks and even turn them into something that both of you would look forward to.