With the onset of sea level rise, The City of Miami Beach hopes to profit from residents catching fish on city streets during its high tides.

They have declared city streets ‘commercial fishing zones’ during the hours of king tide and will start issuing licenses to all residents.

Crabbing is free, however, and can take place from Alton Road east to Washington Street, though not during any major events. ”Crabs sidling around in the street are a public menace and we encourage residents to catch them whenever they can.”

“You just hold a net in the gutter and the fish swimming by will be yours” said Alfredo ‘Justo’ Baclava. “There was a giant squid trying to board the route 123 South Beach local. It didn’t have the correct change so I caught him sliding off the bus. He’ll be dinner.”

While residents cannot deny the sea level has been slowly inexorably rising, the governor is a climate change denier.

Florida Department of Environmental Protection employees, contractors and volunteers have been told not to use the terms “climate change” and “global warming” in official communications because of the overwhelming evidence by one tenth of one percent of scientists worldwide, who say it does not exist.

In a directive from Rick Scott’s office, the word ‘lobbyist’ and the phrase ‘sleazy politician’ are being eliminated from school texts throughout the State faster than you can say ‘Hey, where’s that water coming from?’ DEP employees were told “Not to think too hard” about what might just be a world-wide left wing plot by thousands of peer reviewed climate professionals.

The Republican Presidential wannabes weighed in. According to the New Yorker article (Dec. 21st 28th) ‘The Siege of Miami’ Marco Rubio was quoted on “Face the Nation” about a statement he made re: climate change. “I believe the climate is changing because there’s never been a moment when the climate is not changing.”

That’s like saying the traffic here is really bad because there’s always been traffic here.

Universal Studios might want to partner with Miami Beach and create a new theme park adventure; Awash with Adventure! (You must be this tall and be able to swim)

The future of Miami Beach?

The future of Miami Beach?