It’s been over a month since you left the Philippines to study in New Zealand. We both thought that it would get easier as the days go by. I thought you would be busy adjusting to your life there –balancing fitting in to your new school and making new friends, while I go on with my life here. I thought being busy would make the days go by so fast, and before I know it, you’re home. But rather, everyday continues to pile up with stories that I wish I could share with you as soon as I come home. It gets harder each day. As an older sister, I promised our mom that if there will come a time that we will miss each other; I will be the one to stay strong. I promised her that I would tell you that life there is amazing and you are fortunate enough to experience studying overseas. Today, I let her down as I write you this letter.
With you and I, this distance does not make my heart grow fonder nor does my heart know no distance. You are at least 8,000 kilometers away from me. I remember the quick road trip we had. For 6 hours, I drove 300 kilometers. If I drive to you, it would take me about 160 hours, but there are oceans between that distance. If I ride a plane, it will take me 16 hours to get to you, but the thing is, I have school and work to attend to back here and spending that much money for a plane trip to see you for one week is too impractical for our lifestyle.
Today I would have told you that a boy broke my heart. If you were here, I would have texted you as I drove home and you would have waited for me downstairs just so you were there as I enter the house. We would have given stares that could tell each other if we could start the conversation downstairs or wait until we got to my bedroom. I would have placed the keys on top of the counter, walked to my bedroom upstairs, and locked the door. You would have been mad by the time you heard the story and you would have asked me if he was still worth it. You would ask me if he was still worth it because you don’t want to see me get hurt anymore. You would tell me that I deserve more and I would start crying. You would have looked at me with heartbroken eyes, shared the silence with me, and wrapped your arms around me when it’s not too awkward to hug. That is how you are to me. That is how spending money on that plane trip to see you for one week is worth it.
So this letter is a wish for you to find a best friend that is like an older sister to you so that you will never have to feel alone. I hope you find a best friend that will take you on night outs that I never got to do here with you. By the time you reach your legal age, I hope your best friend is fun to drink and dance with minus getting in trouble –that will give you nights to remember and nights that will make you feel happy you’re young and alive. I hope she’s funny to the point you laugh your ugly laugh, even until you snort. I hope she loves makeup as much as we do, that she can go shopping with you for hours without complaint, choosing the right lipstick shade or the right concealer color for different areas in our faces. I hope you find a best friend that loves eating midnight snacks as much as we do. I hope she complains about her weight while eating pizza and French fries like we do. I hope you find a best friend that also has a different taste in boys like we do, so you both don’t end up fighting over the same guy. I hope she loves watching our favorite sitcoms for the nights you can’t sleep. I hope she knows how to cuss and make fun of every problem you will encounter so she reminds you of me. I hope you find a best friend that will protect you like I will. I hope you find a best friend that will love you like you would, because the love you give is comforting, accepting, and the love that I will always look for. But the moment you find a best friend, tell her that she’s just your best friend because you have a sister here, waiting for her own best friend to come back home.