Since the US Congress will not allow ground troops in Iraq, its Prime Minister, in an effort to raise an army, is using Kickstarter for the project. Kickstarter is a global crowdfunding platform based in the United States. Its mission is to help bring creative projects to life.
Since the last army fled the Islamic State advance, they need to start all over again with a fresh group of citizen-soldiers. Iraq seeks funding for a 45,000 man standing army and interactive live theater experience. Ben Affleck will direct the theatrical component.
Iraqi Prime Minister Haider Al Abadi wants to raise $750 million US dollars to accomplish his goal.
The breakdown of funding will be approximately $725 million for his IRA and other off-shore accounts, $24 million for housing and clothing with a vacation in Switzerland for his extended family and 240 supporters and the rest will go to advertise for, outfit, arm, mobilize, train and bivouac a standing army to meet the crisis.
Al Abadi says “Our mission statement will be simple and elegant. ‘Support, Thwart and Distort.’ And if you ‘like’ our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Iraqi.Army we’ll bump any recruit up to Corporal.”
An unnamed aide said “Hey, who doesn’t need a standing army in these troubling times? Help us to ‘take back Iraq’ and put men to work. Joining up is not as bad as it sounds. All your weekends are free unless we get overrun.”
“With all the money America wasted in Iraq, this is a drop in the bucket” Al Abadi said through a spokesman, “it’s chump change, and I’ve already spoken with Donald Trump’s people to add the Trump name to the back of the uniforms as part of my ‘Trumped up Force’.
The launch will include balloons, hot dogs, falafel, Kool Aid, tents and a large sound system with a platoon of dogs and handlers for crowd control.
After first going to his Facebook friends to gather a significant amount of ‘likes’ and raise awareness for the cause, Al Abadi took time out from suppressing the minority in his country to reach out to assorted tyrants in the region and build a ‘coalition of the despots’.
“If this works, we might ‘fund our way’ out of the national debt.