Here’s what we believe the prenuptial agreement signed by Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch contains.
Jerry promises never to laugh out loud when she sees Rupert naked if she happens to lose her way in the house and walk into his bathroom.
Rupert promises to utilize a ‘daily dose’ of Cialis or whatever doesn’t give him an erection lasting longer than 4 hours because it would be hard to hide in the boardroom.
Jerry promises to never divulge her bedroom habits with Mick.
Rupert will always give Jerry ‘above the fold’ coverage in at least 60% of his periodicals when she feels depressed because she married a man (With more facial lines than Keith Richard) 25 years her senior.
Rupert and Jerry agree to not use the Rolling Stone’s ‘Under My Thumb’ as their wedding song.
Jerry agrees to call him ‘My little Tycoon’ when they’re in bed together but not when she’s staring at his manhood.
Rupert agrees to whisper his net worth in her ear whenever she feels down.
Jerry agrees to not join PETA, ‘Save the Whales’ ‘Save the Earth’ Greenpeace or any organization that saves anything.
He agrees to put his glasses on with both hands and not make left hand turns when driving.
She will never cast judgement on Donald Trump
She agrees to allow the TV in the kitchen tuned to Fox news 24/7