It might surprise you to know that there is a universal formula for giving and receiving. It applies to everyone, everywhere, and everywhen. If you don’t know the formula, you won’t be able to understand how giving and receiving work.
Here it is:
You always get back the essence of what you give. No more, no less.
This is the quote that prompted this post, but there’s a second one I use in my practice all the time that also applies.
The cost of giving is receiving.
Let’s look at the two together because together they form the backbone of the laws of prosperity, wealth, abundance, luxury, surplus—a.k.a. having what you want.
Whether you know this or not, whether you agree with this or not, life on our planet is based on the principle of polarity. Translated into surplus-speak that means that giving and receiving will be equal and balanced no matter what we do to try to change that.
So let’s visit an example:
You are known for your exquisite taste in clothing, and you own lots of it. A friend calls who asks to have a “shopping spree” in your closet for a one-night-only event that her clothing inventory doesn’t even address let alone meet.
[Punch pause. What’s happened?
A request to receive from you has arisen. You now have a choice. You can decide to give what’s requested. You can decide not to give what’s requested. Seems binary and simple, but human motivation kicks in here so it’s suddenly less binary and way less simple.
There’s another layer to the choice: You can decide to give what’s requested completely freely with an open heart grateful to be able to share what’s yours. Or, you can decide to give what’s requested begrudgingly with an only partially open heart grumbling that people always ask to borrow your clothes.]
The first part of the decision is a brain decision: do I or do I not want to loan out my clothes?
The second level of the decision is a heart decision: can I do this with joy or do I let it make me feel put upon?
It’s the heart decision that determines the essence of the giving.
When you are in touch with your heart motivations for what you do, then you can give honestly and cleanly. When you are not in touch with your heart motivations for what you do, then you can make a real mess of giving and receiving.
It’s worth it to get clear on this because you can only receive what and how you give. This is why the cost of giving is receiving, and the way you give is how you receive.
The next time someone asks something of you, make your brain decision, then drop your awareness to your heart. Here is where you’ll find the essence of what you are giving.
If you want to give with your brain and not with your heart, don’t do it. Say no. Gently, kindly, without explanation, but say no. Otherwise, the stinginess with which you give will return to you, and it won’t feel good.
If you want to give with your heart and not with your brain, wait. Get still. Listen. What is your brain telling you? Do nothing until the two parts of you line up and are in agreement. Otherwise, say no.
If you want to give with your brain and your heart, go for it! The more giving we do, the more receiving comes our way.
Remember that the cost of giving is receiving. Stated more plainly: you have to receive in order to give! So don’t be shy. Learn to receive and receive graciously. It might surprise you how gracious your giving becomes when you do.