I hate breakups they are awkward, confrontational, emotional, inspire vengeful fantasies and end up leaving you scarred for life.
That being said what I hate even more than regular breakups are the unwarranted, inexplicable, left in the dark, blind sided breakups that leave you gaping and open mouthed with a giant question mark to haunt you till the day you die? or as long as you are senile whichever is first.
I mean seriously what is up with that?There you are all cheerful and secure in what you imagine to be a forever after and more, only to find out one fine day that they want to have absolutley nothing to do with you. And I don’t just mean your significant other with whom you are secretly planning your fairytale nuptials, though I have to tell you that breakup hurts like a bitch.
I am referring to breaking up with your best friend or a really good friend. Someone you have spent endless good times with, shared secrets and what not, crushed on guys together, had binge eating marathons, laughed till it hurt over something totally ridiculous, agonized over something as frivolous as a zit for ages, talked on the phone for hours after hanging out all day.
All of a sudden you find out they are ignoring your calls, not responding to your texts, cancelling plans all without the bother of a simple why?
I mean if a guy were to do that you would automatically assume the jerk is cheating on you with someone else. But what are you supposed to think when it’s your bff suddenly turned frigid?
I have been at the receiving end of the unexplained out of the blue, ice queen bitch attitude a few times and let me tell you it drives you insane!I mean if you can put all that time and energy into ignoring someone would it kill you to spare two mins to tell them why?What’s up with leaving the other person hanging?
My bff and I back in college were inseparable, we would talk non stop when we were together on the phone afterwards, we would be over each other’s place constantly, planing surprise birthday parties for each other, we were the classic text book buddies. And then out of nowhere she stopped returning my calls and msgs. I even dropped by her place several times only to be told every single time she wasn’t home. I was confused, hurt, clueless and angry to say the least I had no idea what I had done or said the last time we had been together and there was no one to offer any kind of explanations as to why?I had to eventually give up, accept the fact that I had been unceremoniously and cruelly dumped, and to forever be haunted with the “why”permanently etched in my brain.
I can understand that people grow apart sometimes, their interests vary over time, transitioning from one phase of life to another can affect friendships. I’ve been there , my two best friends in grade school hit puberty way before me, so while I was still skipping rope during recess in my pigtails they were more interested in engaging in ogling matches with the guys. We all understood it was time to move on and we gracefully did, it was a clean break, the end of the chapter.
That is an acceptable breakup, severing a relationship without an explanation or a goodbye is not. It is the cruel, cowardly way out, it says I don’t even respect you enough to tell you I’m leaving. I mean breaking up is bad enough when you are aware that things are not working out but this out of the blue, in your face out of nowhere abrupt end is the worst kind of breakup. You are left feeling rejected , devastated, berating yourself , looking desperately for closure.
I mean we are all adults damn it act your bloody age! It wouldn’t kill you to call and let them know that things are not working out anymore. Or if you are too much of a coward, send it in a text or email. This is a person you poured your heart out to once, they at the very least deserve a heads up when you are about to bail on them for good.
It’s called being human people. I don’t claim to be perfect but I have always attempted to end relationships amicably granted I might have relied on the beaten to death “it’s not you its me” but atleast I made an effort to let them know it was over. I have the peace of mind of knowing that if I ever run into them again I won’t be scrambling around for camouflage. I will be able to walk up to them or past them depends on how much they still hate me .(Some people just love holding onto grudges).
But I will atleast have given them and myself closure and the hope that neither of us would be haunted by the ghost of our past.