Humorist/Public Speaker for significant meetings, conferences and every type of public forum with material based on client need. As an 'expert' in the field I will begin plausibly and slowly let the audience in on the joke finishing up with an original song on acoustic guitar specifically for the function.

Education

has yet to fill out education information.

Professional Experience

company

Miami NPR affiliate WLRN

position

Humorist

years

12

summary

Wrote and voiced short form humor for a broad radio audience.

buzzme

Humorist/Public Speaker for significant meetings, conferences and every type of public forum with material based on client need. As an 'expert' in the field I will begin plausibly and slowly let the audience in on the joke finishing up with an original song on acoustic guitar specifically for the function.

Education

buzzme has yet to fill out education information.

Professional Experience

company

Miami NPR affiliate WLRN

position

Humorist

years

12

summary

Wrote and voiced short form humor for a broad radio audience.

putin-trump-horse

Transitions

With the promise of not invading any country larger than Estonia, Putin hopes to eliminate United States sanctions which have “forced his citizens to add more water to their beet soup. It’s not fair” said Putin. “How can we continue to invade countries on our borders while under sanctions from the U.S.? We’re sure Trump…

[ File # csp5751103, License # 1467423 ]
Licensed through http://www.canstockphoto.com in accordance with the End User License Agreement (http://www.canstockphoto.com/legal.php)
(c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / pixelbrat

Welcome To The Holidaze!

The increase in portion size is directly linked to an increase in obesity in the U.S. Duh! The ‘Calorie Control Council’, an international association representing the low- and reduced-calorie food and beverage industry (A real council) reports that the average American will consume more than 4,500 calories and enough fat to make three sticks of…

overeaters-anonymous-poster-boy

Tofurky Is Not Turkey Get Over It

If the Indians who helped the Pilgrims get through the winter, were vegans, we’d be eating tofurky (Faux turkey) on Thanksgiving. Luckily, this was not the case. (Just because you can shape it like a real turkey, oh never mind) I’m not slamming tofu but don’t you owe it to yourself to stow the gluten…

diplomayournamehere

‘Take’ America Yet Again

In an effort to thwart the government’s class-action lawsuit against President-elect Donald Trump and his now-defunct Trump University, Trump’s attorneys filed a motion to delay until after the presidential inauguration. They also asked for a motion from the court to downgrade the charges since they said, the courses were on a public high school level…

justin-landmark-wines

Drink Wine Lose Weight Have Fun

There are studies and there are studies. If you are one of those people who enjoy a glass of wine before going to bed, here’s the best news. According to a new study, a little wine before bed can actually help with weight loss. Let’s repeat that in terms the average drinker can understand. WHOOPEE!!!…

trump-image

Follow The Logic

Donald trump is now going after what he claims is an egregious act by the then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “She spurned a plea from a head of State for assistance and we cannot let it pass without a Congressional investigation.” He went on, “I heard it from so many people, that a Prince…

fragrance

What Are They Selling Here?

While shopping for clothing detergent I discovered the small size of Gain detergent costs twice as much and you only need half the amount. I think you never needed the original amount to get your clothes clean. It’s like the toothpaste ads that show a toothbrush being filled from end to end when you only…

mealworm

Earth’s Answer To Plastic Waste? Meal worms!

One man’s trash is another man’s, or worm’s, treasure. Research from Stanford shows that darkling beetle larvae, (mealworms) can and will gobble a diet of polystyrene (Styrofoam) or plastic waste. Stanford’s Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering raised a hundred mealworms from birth strictly on styrofoam which the creatures can digest thanks to a type…

colorful-george-washington_95144

A Plethora Of Political Ads

Video screens bring the world up close. That world includes commercials which pay for the content. Thank goodness for ‘truth in advertising’, without it, how would we know all the side effects in those obnoxious ads? There are so many side effects the announcers reel them off throughout. They included headaches, nausea, depression, irritability, aggression,…

dq dairy queen choco covered strawberry blizzard of the month

Brain Freeze: A Silent Chiller

NASA has declared July 2016 the hottest month on record; one and a half degrees hotter than the average since the years 1950-1980. To combat the heat, the extensive staff and entire research facility here at ‘Buzz Central’ would like to inform the public about a silent chiller. Just mention the word ‘chiller’ in the…

upscale toilet paper

Is Toilet Paper An Economic Indicator?

Sales of toilet paper, what the industry calls “luxury” rolls climbed to $1.4 billion outselling all other TP’s for the first time in almost a decade. These sales have grown more than 70 percent since 2000, and are expected to grow faster than all other categories every year through at least 2018.It isn’t that we’re…

Algae-Bloom-in-Florida-706x369

Here, Have A Drink!

Florida’s water quality standards have not been upgraded in 24 years. Lately, there has been a lot of negative press about bacteria laden toxic algae blooms. These toxic blooms are making Floridians sick, closing beaches and damaging the economy. In spite of those conditions, regulators would like to allow more toxic chemicals to flow into…

mosquito

Watch as Flori-Duh Messes This One Up!

The Zika bearing mosquitos have done what horrendous traffic, toxic chemicals in our drinking water and being named the worst city in the nation could not do. It has prompted the Florida Governor to take action and declare an emergency. Zika bearing mosquitos have taken up residence in the Wynwood area of Miami. We have…

tianhe-1-nvidia

How Fast Is Fast?

What’s a ‘petaflop?’ Answer at the end of story It has been light years from the day Thomas Edison said into his new invention, the tele-phone, “Watson, come here, I want you”. Those words morphed into ‘Can you hear me now? to ‘Can you produce a video on your phone, release it on youtube and…

nightlifegirls

Miami Rude? Hey, Get Off Our Lawn!

Financial news and opinion website 24/7 Wall St. says Miami is the worst city in America in which to live. Worse than Detroit or Paterson, N.J. Bam! So we have traffic, some pythons and a little ‘sea rise’ on Miami Beach. So what! Hey America, are you jealous of our sunshine and party-going culture? What…

tampon gun

NRA Proposes New legislation

In the wake of tremendous negative publicity, the NRA proposed a new series of initiatives that would soothe citizen fears. “It’s simple” said NRA spokesperson Jimmy ‘shooter’ McClanahan, “The public should not be able to read about any future killings. Newspapers, TV and the internet media should ‘self-censor’ so that Americans are not troubled by…

JCLittle_UN-Bucket_List_555

My Un-Bucket List

The bucket list is a phenomenon that came about when baby boomers started realizing they had not done all the things they wanted to do. What about the things they never wanted to do? This is my un-bucket List: I will never start a column with the words ‘Before I die’ I will never send…

index

Trump ‘speaks’ for himself

The familiar voice was confident, even cocky; the cadence clearly sounded like Trump. The man on the phone vigorously defending Donald Trump purported to be a media spokesman named John Miller, but then says, “I’m sort of new here,” and “I’m somebody that he knows and I think somebody that he trusts and likes” and…

laughing-cat-wallpaper

Laughing cat syndrome consumes everyone

There were no auto accidents, no slow-downs and everyone was nice to each other on the road. Waiters were courteous and efficient. People opened doors for others. Cell phone usage in confined public spaces was virtually non-existent. Your doctor called right back and even offered to visit you at home if you couldn’t make it…

Devil Takes Umbrage at Cruz Comparison

A spokesperson for the devil has filed suit in federal court to enjoin John Boehner from further referencing Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh.” Satanists around the country rose up in ‘righteous indignation’ at Boehner’s slight. “It’s not right that they drag the devil down to Cruz’s level of detestability. We’re a very small…

matzoh_man

Don’t Passover the Matzos

Passover is a little late this year. Let me apologize to anyone who expected it to be about the same time as Easter. In the interests of not confusing the children of mixed marriages, we’re running late. We’ve been running late for more than 5700 years and no one noticed until now. Other religions celebrate…

Yosemite Sam

Guns Not Allowed?

The upcoming Republican national convention in Cleveland received a petition signed by 50,000 people to allow guns in the Quicken Loans Arena. There will be no guns allowed according to the Secret service who handles security for national political conventions. This has infuriated the gun advocates. The arena has a policy against guns or weapons…

Spring Cleaning: Boon or Bane?

Hail Spring! Now where’s my nasal spray? Spring-cleaning is the time when we start tripping over the piles we’ve accumulated all winter. Who started this? I’m sure it was the cave people. When the winter freeze was over and old bison parts would thaw, you knew it was time to clean because the cave would…

Help! I’ve Been ‘Shared’

Have you received this in the mail? What does (name any large corporation) do with your personal information?   Dear customer, Companies such as ours choose how they share your personal information. Federal law gives consumers the right to limit some, but not all sharing. We’ve made sure of that with some tasteful lunches and…

Penis Size in a Presidential Race?

A most inappropriate topic has stormed into the Republican debates. It is as far from ‘politically correct’ as Donald Duck is to a motivational speech. If it were bandied about in the office you might get fired. They’re talking about Trump’s hand size, and you know what that means. Mr. Trump, your pronouncements have been…

Trump to ‘Buy the Farm’ in Iowa?

Donald trump delivered arguably his most dis-ingenuous speech after coming in second in the Iowa caucuses. He said, “Iowa, we love you. We thank you. You’re special. We will be back many, many times. In fact, I think I might come here and buy a farm. I love it.” Trump closed by suggesting maybe he’ll buy…

Where Are the Good Guys With Guns?

Florida’s new legislative session would not be complete without a proposal to openly arm every Floridian who feels their life is in danger when shopping for groceries. “You never know when a loony will rebel against the price of adult diapers and start shooting up the ‘popcorn, charcoal and nuts’ aisle” said State Representative Bill…

Jerry Hall, Meet Geriatric

Here’s what we believe the prenuptial agreement signed by Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch contains. Jerry promises never to laugh out loud when she sees Rupert naked if she happens to lose her way in the house and walk into his bathroom. Rupert promises to utilize a ‘daily dose’ of Cialis or whatever doesn’t give…

Kid ‘Lap Up’ New USDA Food Guidelines

Every five years the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services issues new federal food guidelines. This edition includes a daily regimen of 5 eight ounce cups of regular coffee. “That would serve to increase productivity for the economy” said Federal spokesperson Hal Menomeny. “If people are moving faster as…

Kid ‘Lap Up’ New USDA Food Guidelines

Every five years the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services issues new federal food guidelines. This edition includes a daily regimen of 5 eight ounce cups of regular coffee. “That would serve to increase productivity for the economy” said Federal spokesperson Hal Menomeny. “If people are moving faster as…

Nat Geo: Sea Change in the Air?

The National Geographic Society and magazine which has long stood for science, research, and investigation, is now owned by Rupert Murdoch, the man who owns and ‘programs’ ‘news’ on Fox. He now controls arguably the most prestigious scientific publication on the planet. That’s like putting Snoop Dog in charge of the ‘Just Say No’ club…

Save the Box!

The importance of cardboard to our culture is, on a par with space travel and the technology that allows us to speak and see someone in Tonga on our smart phone. All we need to do is find someone in Tonga willing to speak to us.   Raw cardboard fresh from the factory is, by…

RIP Language

The Oxford University Press publishes the ‘word of the year’. Past words have been bitcoin, selfie and vape. This year, along with mobile technology business SwiftKey, they accumulate statistics for some of the most popular emojis across the world. Instead of an actual ‘word’, they selected the emoji (emoticon) “Face with Tears of Joy” as…

Self-Driving Cars: Boon or Bust?

The police in Mountain View, California, pulled over a Google self-driving car for driving too slowly. The police department said an officer “noticed traffic backing up behind a slow-moving car in the eastbound lane”. The car was traveling at 24mph in a 35mph zone. If we were talking about south Florida, other drivers would have…

Gun Control in Flori-Duh?

If the NRA’s cash has a say, Floridians might be able to openly carry a firearm, but not a can of beer. A Florida gun range in Daytona was approved to sell alcohol at its restaurant. This may sound like some accidents waiting to happen, but the owner said booze will only be sold to…

Is Newest GOP Debate Format a Winner?

In an effort to wrest control of the debate process back to the RNC from the candidates themselves, GOP national committee head Reince Priebus would like a new debate format so that “We can give American voters the structure they understand. When Senator Cruz likened it to a ‘cage match’ a light went on in…

Future Congressional Committees?

Outgoing House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) issued a statement announcing the (All) Republican appointments to the House Energy and Commerce Committee’s new Select Investigative Panel. Will they focus on energy? Will they focus on commerce? No! They will expend energy on the ‘so called’ ‘grisly practices of big abortion providers’. The committee has 31 Republicans…

Halloween Candy: Curse or Cure?

  Yearly, America produces 35 million pounds of: A, second hand spit from smokeless tobacco B, Weight gain from soda in an average high school C, Candy Corn The average American consumes between 3 and 4 pounds of candy over Halloween. This equals the sugar an English person consumes in an average day. Eating that…

Say ‘Ta Ta’ to Big Ben’s Bong

The ‘bong’ of Big Ben, the familiar sound Londoners hear on the hour, will not break the staid British air during urgent repairs to the timeless timepiece. Two of Britain’s largest newspapers reported that Parliament’s massive clock and the tower that supports it need as much as 40 million pounds of repairs ($70 billion in…

Are You ‘Linkedin’ to Vladimir Putin?

Be great at what you do. Get started, it’s free! Do you want to be… Linkedin? “Are you following Vladimir Putin? Or more to the point, is he following you?” Congratulate Vladimir Putin on being nominated for the prestigious ‘Despots of the Century’ association. The Russian leader, through his PR agency, announced he is “pleased”…

Mickey, Minnie and Peking Duck

It what may be the biggest change at Disney since Goofy saw an orthodontist for his over-bite, Disney is building a 5.5 billion dollar theme park in Shanghai, China. It’s about time. The last themed attraction the Chinese built was a Great wall. You paid your money, got on as a child and at the…

Come on Sing It, You Know You Want To

The 80 year legal battle is over and children can now sing ‘Happy Birthday to You’ without fear of being sued by Warner/Chappell, the publishing arm of Warner Music, who claimed copyright. A California federal judge ruled Warner Music can no longer charge for the performance of the song. Phew!! Mother’s no longer need to…

Inspect This!

The USDA instituted a meat inspection pilot program of speeding up the processing lines by 20%, halving the number of USDA safety inspectors and replacing them with private inspectors employed by meat companies. “Sort of like the Iranians inspecting their own nuclear facilities” said Bill ‘Ham-Hock’ Wilson, swine inspector, 3rd shift. Your watchdogs in Washington…

Foodies Need Not Apply

Eating habits around world tend to be about the same with the exception of about a billion who eat bugs as a protein source. When America eats, it’s homogenized, packaged and probably flash frozen with a beautiful picture on the box. Forget about what the food actually looks like, it’s not an exact copy of…

This Article Brought to You By…..

Prime advertising space is getting harder to find than the mental compass of some Presidential candidates.   We started seeing ads covering buildings, in menus and on airplanes. That means finding every available space to try and sell you something, but after a few drinks in first class, has anyone ever ordered a garden gnome…

A Letter From Greece

Dear Western civilization, Hello and yahsu!! Greece here, and I thought it was time to write and bring you up to speed. we are so much more than souvlaki, feta cheese and the birthplace of democracy. Instead of being adored as the CRADLE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION, we’re being ‘dissed’ around the world and especially Germany…

Newest Republican Candidate Strategy?

In a move that has surprised even John Boehner, Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican Party, says in the run-up to the general election in 2016, any Republican can denounce every Presidential proposal “whatever it will be. This is a pre-emptive move” said Priebus. “We’re just following history here and we don’t want to break…

Let Your Coca-Cola® Do the Talking

If a young person’s head has been buried in a smartphone or video game from their first ‘Sproutonline’ experience to ‘Halo 3’ how will they meet people? Where will they learn the fine art of conversation? Pew research tells us that 99% of boys and 94% of teen girls play video games and that almost…

Register
Login
Staff Picks Latest Trending Discover Communities Searech

buzzme

Profile picture of buzzme

@buzzme

active 26 minutes ago