Holidays! We love ‘em. This is the time when we thank our lucky stars that the boss will drink more than anyone else at the holiday party.

It’s ‘next year’ already and time to start paying for the gifts you bought one year ago. You’re almost finished paying for the mattress you bought 2 years ago and since no one took your guns away, the 21 gun safe and portable power grid is almost paid for from 2008. Haven’t you learned your lesson?

On black Friday you waited in a ‘shopping scrum’ outside the Big Box Outlet to get the best deal on an all in one popcorn maker/coffee bean grinder with a built in flat screen. Your kids don’t have clothes but they do have newest video games. All you got were scraped knees and a rain check for an LED mood light.

Well black Friday is over and ‘cyber Monday’ is shaping up to be the biggest shopping day in the history of the world. Don’t even think of doing any work at work. There are amazing deals on electronics, clothes and food. Did you realize you can get young early harvest GMO free organic Brussel sprouts for less than you’d pay for a combination battery operated aromatherapy machine and George Foreman Quesadilla Maker?

In news of the greatest gifts since the grill alert talking meat thermometer,that 3 wheeled portable electric scooter will make you the envy of all the girls at the poolside Mahjong game and don’t worry, there’s no interest for three years unless you count that new bachelor who stuffs his bathing trunks to get attention.

That credit card can light up a cigarette now because it’s ‘Thank God it’s over Wednesday.’