The 10th annual ‘Apathy Festival’ (ApFest2015) scheduled for Bayfront Park in downtown Miami this past weekend was a huge success. No one showed up. The organizers, who couldn’t be found, didn’t send out a press release or hand out posters and didn’t bother to tell anyone.

ApFest was billed as a non-sectarian, bi-cultural, homogeneous gathering of people who don’t care.

“No one showed up again this year which points to the success we’ve had in promoting apathy” said festival producer Erwin Kimmelback. “It’s a tribute to those who have other things to not do.

As the organizers, we could have showed up, but that would have sent the wrong signal and defeated the purpose of Apfest. We couldn’t schedule organizational meetings leading up to the actual event because we knew no one would attend. The purpose was and is all about apathy and…..well, never mind.

We won’t do this again next year or maybe skip a couple of years, it really doesn’t matter. No one will show and that’s what we want.

It’s an easy production to mount. There are no ticket sales, we don’t have to book bands; there are no festival vendors to set up, no liquor license and no police protection. We’re not making any money, but we’re also not putting any effort into it.

Don’t stop by again next year!”

"It's just as we expected" said the organizers, "No one showed."

“It’s just as we expected” said the organizers, “No one showed.”